I started working with a new client this week, helping him build his thought leadership and authority online.
He's very knowledgeable, with decades of experience and so many interesting things to say. But when we started talking about putting himself out there, he admitted there was one thing holding him back.
The "cringe factor".
That feeling of imagining people you know reading your posts and wondering who you think you are.
I hear a version of this all the time when LinkedIn comes up. And I'm always very open about the fact that I felt the same way.
For me, the biggest fear was judgement from former colleagues. People I'd worked with before thinking I'd become a sort of self-appointed expert.
It felt exposing. And very uncomfortable.
So one of the first things we did in my client's session was get specific about whose judgement he was actually worried about.
Because I think we often have a vague fear of what "people" will think, without really considering who those people are, and why their opinions matter.
Here are five things I've learnt about getting past that fear.
1. Get specific about whose judgement you're afraid of
It's easy to say you're worried about what people will think. But which people exactly? Colleagues, uni friends, someone you haven't spoken to in ten years?
Ask yourself why their opinion matters so much to you. Are these people whose judgement you genuinely value? Do they understand what you're trying to achieve? Would you go to them for advice?
Sometimes the fear becomes less powerful when you stop treating "everyone" as one big audience.
2. Accept that it might feel uncomfortable for a while
I wish I could say there was a moment when I suddenly felt completely confident putting myself out there.
There wasn't - but over time it just became easier.
We often assume confidence needs to come first, and that we need to get over the fear before taking action. In my experience, it's the opposite. You do something, realise you survived (!), and get more comfortable doing it again.
3. Give yourself somewhere to practise
You don't have to go from 0 to 100; sharing nothing to sharing every thought that comes to mind, for the whole world to see.
There's space in between.
When I'm preparing for something unfamiliar, like a workshop, interview or presentation, I'll quite often run through it with someone I trust. You can do the same with writing. Send a draft to a friend or share an idea with a small group. Talk through what you want to say before publishing it.
A bit of encouragement or constructive feedback can make it feel easier.
4. Stop taking every outcome personally
One of the things that makes putting yourself out there so difficult is how personally we can take the response.
You share something and it gets little engagement. Or someone disagrees. Or nobody responds. Suddenly you're questioning whether you should have posted in the first place.
A post that doesn't perform doesn't mean your ideas aren't valuable, and someone disagreeing doesn't mean you shouldn't have shared. I've written lots of things that didn't land as I'd hoped. It's part of the process.
5. Remember why you're doing it
To me, this is the most important one. When you're focused on how you might look to other people, you lose sight of what you're actually trying to achieve.
Become better known in your industry, attract clients, open career opportunities or share something that could help someone else.
Whatever the reason, it needs to matter more to you than the idea of someone rolling their eyes. I wouldn't have built the audience, relationships or opportunities I have if I'd continued letting my fear of judgement rule over me.
The takeaway
The fear of being judged never disappears completely. We're human. You can be introverted. You can feel awkward. You can still care what people think. The key is learning not to let those feelings stop you.
The people whose judgement you're worrying about aren't even necessarily the people you're trying to reach.
And there'll be many others who will genuinely benefit from hearing what you have to say.
Speak soon,
Dupé
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PS:
Want support building authority on LinkedIn? Reply to this email and we’ll set up a conversation.
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